Some mega long ass post about tutors.
Sunday, December 5, 2010 / 4:57 PM
I'm the person who I think has had the most tutors in her entire lifetime, which is a little sad considering that people instantly think that your tutors rescue you from drowning in your own stupidity. Partially true for some, not for me, because I'm magnificently clever because my laziness prevails and I rarely pay attention in class. So basically my real teachers or whatever would be my tutors. The teachers in school would be the assholes that give you homework and can't teach.
SO! My vast experience means that I'm well-equipped to write a post about tutors. I'm pretty sure I've seen every kind. Well maybe not. Whatever, play along.
A reason for this is that I resumed tuition this week; my brain is weeping. I had two sessions today, one which was at fricking 10am, forcing me to wake up at 9, which also means that my system's running on less than 3 hours of sleep. FML. Another obvious reason for this is because I have too much homework and am currently in procrastination mode. Actually, I just thought that my tutor seemed very quotable. Anyway, here we go.
God-Tier
Cheap, fantastic at teaching, extremely clever. Basically, the epitome of a perfect tutor for both your studies and wallet. He gives tuition because he can, or because he wants to retain his knowledge. Comes for tuition empty-handed because he doesn't need references, it's all in his head. Destined for great things. Rare to come by.
My current tutor is pretty close, I guess, except that he's an arrogant and impatient shithead who constantly murders my self-esteem.
Let me quote.
High-Tier
1: Veterans. Those old fogies that are safe choices because of their reservoirs of experience. Probably know everything there is to know, but may be a little old-fashioned or backwards in their teaching. Either patient and nice, or downright scary.
My Chinese and Math tutors in Sec 4 are probably good examples. Also, my primary school English tutor.
Mid-high Tier
Special mention to this one because she was kind of interesting. She brought fruit to teach Chinese. IDK how that works. But she even brought a knife to peel the damn apple! (Imagine my raised eyebrow look here, please.)
Low-Tier
a.k.a bitching time!
1. Greedy shits who give tuition for the cash because it's easy money. Constantly look at their watches and are ready to GTFO once time's up. They come late, they leave early. May or may not be capable of teaching. Why are you sitting at the table in my house, really? BTW, the ones who get thirsty constantly are obviously not meant for teaching. What kind of lousy ass teacher loses his voice from two hours of talking? I refer you to my History teachers...
2. OMG, special mention to my stupid tutor that never comes on time. If he says 10am, he probably means 8pm. But whatever, he was hired to help me crash course that one week before EOYs for Math. Got my A, so I'll cut him some slack. I wonder if he was late for his own wedding.
3. Paedophiles. (JK, people, why so serious.)
4. There was also one who let me play basketball at her house and watch TV. That was weird.
5. Oh, also, a special mention to one tutor I had who creeped the shit out of me because she was so clingy and happy and sunshine. It was very uncomfortable. /shudder/
YAY I finished my catalogue of tutors. This post is very lulzy to me.
Anyway, I guess you've learnt that I'm clearly a tuition whore. Well then.
P.S. I still have some books of my previous tutors and I have no clue what to do with them. Ah.
P.P.S. I sacked 3 tutors after their first lesson. What, they sucked! And I have every right. The powaaaaaah.
Uh, bye.
SO! My vast experience means that I'm well-equipped to write a post about tutors. I'm pretty sure I've seen every kind. Well maybe not. Whatever, play along.
A reason for this is that I resumed tuition this week; my brain is weeping. I had two sessions today, one which was at fricking 10am, forcing me to wake up at 9, which also means that my system's running on less than 3 hours of sleep. FML. Another obvious reason for this is because I have too much homework and am currently in procrastination mode. Actually, I just thought that my tutor seemed very quotable. Anyway, here we go.
God-Tier
Cheap, fantastic at teaching, extremely clever. Basically, the epitome of a perfect tutor for both your studies and wallet. He gives tuition because he can, or because he wants to retain his knowledge. Comes for tuition empty-handed because he doesn't need references, it's all in his head. Destined for great things. Rare to come by.
My current tutor is pretty close, I guess, except that he's an arrogant and impatient shithead who constantly murders my self-esteem.
Let me quote.
"Oh, challenging questions. Okay.
Maybe it's this part that makes it slightly difficult.
Nah, it's easy.
Haha, it's so easy, why is it considered challenging?"
OR
"I expect you to complete a question quickly.
I finish a Math paper in 1 hour. I expect that you're two times slower.
(True that I finish the paper in 2 hours, but the paper's FRICKING 3 HOURS. What do you during the rest of the time, fold paper aeroplanes?!)"
OR
"I don't know how to do this."
"WHAT? WHY?"
(Note that his voice goes up by an octave or five.)
OR (my personal favourite )
"Please tell me something my pet rock couldn't say."
High-Tier
1: Veterans. Those old fogies that are safe choices because of their reservoirs of experience. Probably know everything there is to know, but may be a little old-fashioned or backwards in their teaching. Either patient and nice, or downright scary.
My Chinese and Math tutors in Sec 4 are probably good examples. Also, my primary school English tutor.
BTW, R.I.P my Chinese tutor who passed away from some illness.
And I think my poor English tutor has Alzheimer's or something. Ah.
2: The ones who actually care about your education and would happily OT for a few hours to help you understand. Good grasp of their work, but not fantastic. Kudos to their efforts.
My Science tutor in Secondary school. He was nice. And he knew how to bribe me with sweets. (Y)
3. Special mention to my primary school Science tutor at some centre who bought a frog to have it dissected. She was too much of a wimp to dissect it herself though, so she got the butcher guy to do it for her. Did you know the liver's blue?
2: The ones who actually care about your education and would happily OT for a few hours to help you understand. Good grasp of their work, but not fantastic. Kudos to their efforts.
My Science tutor in Secondary school. He was nice. And he knew how to bribe me with sweets. (Y)
3. Special mention to my primary school Science tutor at some centre who bought a frog to have it dissected. She was too much of a wimp to dissect it herself though, so she got the butcher guy to do it for her. Did you know the liver's blue?
Mid-high Tier
Special mention to this one because she was kind of interesting. She brought fruit to teach Chinese. IDK how that works. But she even brought a knife to peel the damn apple! (Imagine my raised eyebrow look here, please.)
Another one - I don't really remember the lessons, but I remember talking about World Cup and how Germany would win against Brazil with the guys before lesson began. YEAH I eat my words.
Middle-Tier
Average tutor. A relative good grasp of the subjects they're teaching, can teach farely well but not really. Average in every way. Average life, average income, average height, average weight, etc. The ones who will never stand out.
UH, every other tutor not mentioned.
Average tutor. A relative good grasp of the subjects they're teaching, can teach farely well but not really. Average in every way. Average life, average income, average height, average weight, etc. The ones who will never stand out.
UH, every other tutor not mentioned.
Low-Tier
a.k.a bitching time!
1. Greedy shits who give tuition for the cash because it's easy money. Constantly look at their watches and are ready to GTFO once time's up. They come late, they leave early. May or may not be capable of teaching. Why are you sitting at the table in my house, really? BTW, the ones who get thirsty constantly are obviously not meant for teaching. What kind of lousy ass teacher loses his voice from two hours of talking? I refer you to my History teachers...
2. OMG, special mention to my stupid tutor that never comes on time. If he says 10am, he probably means 8pm. But whatever, he was hired to help me crash course that one week before EOYs for Math. Got my A, so I'll cut him some slack. I wonder if he was late for his own wedding.
3. Paedophiles. (JK, people, why so serious.)
4. There was also one who let me play basketball at her house and watch TV. That was weird.
5. Oh, also, a special mention to one tutor I had who creeped the shit out of me because she was so clingy and happy and sunshine. It was very uncomfortable. /shudder/
-----------------------------------------------
YAY I finished my catalogue of tutors. This post is very lulzy to me.
Anyway, I guess you've learnt that I'm clearly a tuition whore. Well then.
P.S. I still have some books of my previous tutors and I have no clue what to do with them. Ah.
P.P.S. I sacked 3 tutors after their first lesson. What, they sucked! And I have every right. The powaaaaaah.
Uh, bye.
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantsay
Friday, December 3, 2010 / 3:19 AM
Uh, awesome album or what?
